Oh what a lovely cliche you are.

I’m an accountant, so my life has been full of 1099’s and W-2’s lately, sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted. Better late than never though. It’s going to be like this till after April 15th.

Oh, the joy of country dating continues. Is it just me or maybe it’s the whole rural thing, but the men who are interested in me I swear just need someone to talk to, and don’t really want to date. Is it so bad out there that human contact is that sparse, and that dating websites have become more like Facebook? I’m so confused. I’ve been talking to one guy for over a month and it’s all been, “Good morning!” and “How was your day?” and “Be safe on the roads out there.” Two other guys are basically doing the same thing. Okay, yes, I could ask them for coffee and conversation, but it’s gotten to the point where I’m just not interested anymore. I’m looking for spark, something not so vapid and lacking in any kind of emotion. (Right now, I can’t even go into the lack of emotional maturity issues I’ve encountered.) If I didn’t know better I would say I’m being treated like a girlfriend, yet none of these men have even met me. If that’s not creepy I don’t know what is. My best friend has told me I’m being too nice and to stop responding. I would like to say this is an isolated incident but it’s not, it happens all the time. If it’s not the “forever texters” it’s men over 60, close in age with my father, who seem to think I would be into that kind of thing…Hello daddy issues! No, I’m good. Finally, one dude said he wanted to meet up for coffee, thankfully he was under the age of 50.

While I understand it’s hard to take a picture that truly represents what you look like, and that maybe people don’t accurately describe their body type and weight, but c’mon there is a limit. This guy’s profile stated that he was 5’9″ and athletically built. The pictures were of a seemingly nice looking 46-year-old man. Yeah, when I walked into our “local” coffee spot, that is not what I met. Dude was barely my height, (I’m 5’4″) he had a large beer gut, and looked like he was way past, and mean WAY past 46. He hadn’t shaved in probably over three weeks, which he told me thinking that somehow that would be a good thing. When you have a goatee, it’s not supposed to look like you have been stranded on a desert island for weeks. He looked older than my father, who is 69. What’s worse is that he knew he had misrepresented himself, by saying, “My job was very taxing hence the reason I look much older than I am.” He’s retired. Okay, before you jump on my case about being mean, let me just say that his looks weren’t the major issue, it was the fact that he felt the need to misrepresent himself SO badly on his profile. Seriously, I’m being nice here, he flat out lied. I actually try to post mediocre pics of myself online, you know, with little makeup and such, so that when I do meet these men I look better than my picture, not worse. I swear, I think I’m living every blind or online dating cliché out there. You see these kinds of dating scenarios being portrayed in movies but you don’t really think that they’re true. Well, I hate to say it, “It’s all true!”



Author: Frances McCurdy

I'm a single mom living in the woods writing out all my musings over dating, love, and what it's like navigating this craziness while also being past "my prime" and well into my 30's. I'm also a born and raised Appalachian woman who prefers the mountains over the city and all the hard work that comes along with living in the country.

3 thoughts on “Oh what a lovely cliche you are.”

  1. Lolol…. did you continue on with the date…? I totally get what you are saying. The imternet gives people the opportunity to live out theor wildest fantasy. Haha some people forget they ll actually have to get from behind the computer and prove shit… that would have definitely turned me off and I probably would have left… and it really wouldnt have been abput the physical thing…. 🙈 this was funny lol…


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