If a cute country boy shows up on your door step…

If a cute country boy shows up on your door step, don’t think, don’t hesitate, just slam the door in his face and walk away.

That’s what I should have done when that precise thing happened not too long ago. You see, I had this conversation with my best friend and my dad about what I wanted and how the next guy that came into my life had to literally knock on my door, well it happened. However, it wasn’t exactly what I asked for, or at least maybe I wasn’t specific enough. I’ve had this kind of weird occurrence happen in my life before. I’d be casually talking about something and that very thing would happen. I am forever a believer in, “Be careful what you ask for because you might just get it.” It doesn’t happen all the time, therefore I’m not exactly careful with everything I say. For some reason whenever it has anything to do with men or prospective men in my life, it’s like the cosmos, God, or whatever higher power you may believe in decides it’s going to listen in then, and only then. I wish it paid attention when I was asking for a million dollars too, or maybe when my water pipes freeze, but apparently, my love life seems to be the topic of amusement. Lord knows it’s never dull unless I just flat out refuse to date.

I don’t understand, because in my 20’s dating wasn’t that interesting. My boyfriends then were normal average guys, no drama, wonderful men, unfortunately just not the ones I saw myself spending my life with. Now that I’m in my late 30’s there is an abundance of bad encounters. I’m really starting to wonder, “Do normal guys exist past 30?” Once again, I thought, “Oh a guy who is my age, this should be so much better.” Yeah, I was wrong once again. This guy was completely different than what I was used too. He was straight up country! I mean rifle rack, camo covered truck country. 35 years old, thick Vermont country accent, listened only to country music and was a pure gentleman, or rather that’s how he portrayed himself. Who he really was? A liar and manipulator. Yup another one. Luckily, I found this out quick, long before there was any kind of emotional attachment. I’m still annoyed though. Now they’re finding me at home? It’s as if I have a bright red beacon flashing Morse code for all the weirdos come hither. If I’m not safe in the middle of nowhere, then no place is safe from these crazy, emotionally deranged men. Ugh! I mean seriously, how many woman can say they just show up on their door step? Granted I’d seen this person before, he wasn’t a complete stranger, but it’s not like we had had coffee and conversation. I knew who he was but he had never showed any kind of interest at all. Yet there he was coming to my house and asking whether I wanted to go to breakfast with him. I should have known then, who asks someone out for breakfast as a first date? Again, I was willing to go outside the box, because clearly my choices previously were lacking.

It a nut shell, something felt off with this dude, but I thought maybe I was just being too cautious. Finally, a few weeks into dating I asked him about his “ex.” Turns out he’s still living with her and their daughter, but they aren’t “together” anymore. I laughed my ass off. He thought that was a sign that I was okay with it. I proceeded to tell him in semi hysterics, laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes, that I couldn’t talk to him anymore. Look, it happens, sometimes, something is just so ridiculously messed up that you can’t help but laugh and cry at the same time. I didn’t believe for one second that he was single, especially when he prefaced it with, “I didn’t want to tell you because I thought you’d run.” BIG red flag right there. If they are hiding something then you always have something to worry about. I told him to go be with his family, and whatever was happening he needed to deal with and be there for his daughter. I only wish that the woman who had messed with my ex and the one who has been with my son’s father had said the same thing or something similar to them. Then again, maybe those women did me a favor.

Author: Frances McCurdy

I'm a single mom living in the woods writing out all my musings over dating, love, and what it's like navigating this craziness while also being past "my prime" and well into my 30's. I'm also a born and raised Appalachian woman who prefers the mountains over the city and all the hard work that comes along with living in the country.

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